THE INTERNAL DIALOGUE

The Vulnerability of the Hidden Self

In 2017, within the silent, high-ceilinged rooms of a historic mansion on Amsterdam’s Herengracht, a conversation took place that transcended words. Fine Art photographer Arjan Spannenburg met Joel, a young man who was openly gay but still navigating the private, more guarded territories of his fetish identity.

"Internal Dialogue" is the visual distillation of that encounter. It is a series born from a shared recognition: the hesitation, the curiosity, and the search for a place where one’s deepest desires and public persona can coexist.

A Mentorship of Authenticity

The creative foundation of this series was influenced by a meeting in New York between Spannenburg and the renowned artist Andres Serrano. Serrano’s advice, to maintain a "disarming attitude", became a guiding principle. By stripping away the grandeur of the Herengracht studio and focusing solely on the subject, Spannenburg achieved a rare intimacy. It allowed him to remain independent of external judgment, creating a space where both photographer and subject could be unapologetically themselves.

Stillness Amidst Unrest

Technically, the series is a masterclass in the balance of light. By combining long exposure times (daylight) with the sharp, freezing precision of a Profoto studio flash light, Spannenburg captures a dual reality.

• The blur represents the internal noise and the fluidity of a self in transition.
• The flash pins down the truth of the moment, anchoring the subject in his physical form.

This duality mirrors the "Internal Dialogue" we all face: the friction between what we feel and what we dare to show the world.