THE INTERNAL DIALOGUE

The Vulnerability of the Hidden Self

In 2017, within the silent, high-ceilinged rooms of a historic mansion on Amsterdam’s Herengracht, a conversation took place that transcended words. Fine Art photographer Arjan Spannenburg met Joel, a young man who was openly gay but still navigating the private, more guarded territories of his fetish identity.

"Internal Dialogue" is the visual distillation of that encounter. It is a series born from a shared recognition: the hesitation, the curiosity, and the search for a place where one’s deepest desires and public persona can coexist.

A Mentorship of Authenticity

The creative foundation of this series was influenced by a meeting in New York between Spannenburg and the renowned artist Andres Serrano. Serrano’s advice, to maintain a "disarming attitude", became a guiding principle. By stripping away the grandeur of the Herengracht studio and focusing solely on the subject, Spannenburg achieved a rare intimacy. It allowed him to remain independent of external judgment, creating a space where both photographer and subject could be unapologetically themselves.

Stillness Amidst Unrest

Technically, the series is a masterclass in the balance of light. By combining long exposure times (daylight) with the sharp, freezing precision of a Profoto studio flash light, Spannenburg captures a dual reality.

• The blur represents the internal noise and the fluidity of a self in transition.
• The flash pins down the truth of the moment, anchoring the subject in his physical form.

This duality mirrors the "Internal Dialogue" we all face the friction between what we feel and what we dare to show the world.